Wild at Heart – 2nd draft. Just started.
Efforts at exposure, that yen toward pastiche, for bravery to be ludicrousness, its wild offishness, oddly calms the sea change conundrums, scored day after day, with grotesque changeability and a shimmering wildness at heart.
Contempt is so brittle and confusing, a confused brooding child of horror, yet its stamina arises from a potent, resilient steaming temptation of lovely lies, what philosophy calls (esp. with respect to media): the bubbles of doubles –
Contempt is a cry out of darkness, a merciless resilience & inextricability with wagering seductions with what folds for a life.
Contempt couples with innocence as if to free fate – from the ambiguity of boredom.
Bogged down to a plasticity of boredom, boredom is a horror of emptiness and repetition whose heart is born & adorned in wilderness of desire, a theater of longing, innocence falls in love with the murderous qualities of contempt, seduced there by throngs – of rage, anger, self-hate.
Love – as a condition of contempt? crossroads of devotion, thundering blundering plundering along, mustered, galvanized by wispy blistering hidden howls of contempt – wild seditious sorrows bellyaching insubordination, whose prayers really do care, really do want to be saved saved saved from its lovely miserable corruption –
Beyond victimization, sanctimony or praise.
Fears that are wild & wretchedly possessed by love turn turn turn into a crushing destiny, the miracle of a thousand cuts.
Licking bottom, again and again, raises loss to the bittersweet ecstasy of heaven with sacrificial irrepressibility.
Trauma as epic, warrior, martyr, antihero – repetition as death, death as finality, finality as acceptance, acceptance as inescapable, inescapability of love, of death – as conquering worm, must repeat must repeat in order to learn –
Validity as of yet – bounded hounded by the whipping boy – existentialism skips to the loo, ranting, cloying! rubbing the lamp – how do you do.