dustyhope.com

Crunch A Bunch

Poetrys plunder bunny bobs in rhyme amid the art of reflection. And some of it, always seems to find inside of me an ugly rotter — whose ambivalence/resilience allures/demurs and defiles.

There is a thirst there for discovery. But also something enchanted, indulged, misguided by urgencies to come “to terms” with existence and to purge that existence, arise, vanish, contain, squander? Plunder bunny is also squander bunny battling amid a strife of sublime —

The Scary Sane

Latest twist is called Rabies and Balm Balms — wtf why ??

Why turn something that had beauty, into essences rabid and balmy.

Madness, it turns out, was a part of the fetch, the need to go after something — as had both cosmically and abysmally (however much anyone wanted to marry me) come to believe that madness — was the only true freedom left.

To be continued

Cutters Must

Love Poems for Lobsters

26 Rabies and Balm Balms

Mother awoke,

tanning dept.

Surrounded by bonking lights.

An antenna tower

could be seen out back,

where angels hover, proud as hell

freezing over.

Middling with Meta Fiction

Presence & madness, desire & distance, alls & nothings.

01 Viral and Spiral v1.1

Splendor. Cutters farm. In vested with a wire.

The slender and the burn.

Digging after dog of night.

Barriers carriers, for chins and fins. The ticklish and the fragile. Flowers belly up and blue.

Holy scares, holy scars, holy reckoning with giddy fumes.

The body of the first — and fall, and holy go go go —

Sweet infernal yoyo. Smor-guess-board of destiny of death — tasting splits the tongue.

Essays as fiction.

Poetic holy oil and the hideous insidious perfidious sublime.

02 Spiders From Mars v1.2

Jumper Evils

Jill the Puddle Jumper — races after epiphanies — a defender of splendor, with a spoon for the moon. Shadows fetch through darkness after strains of ugliness, wistful and yearning, incessantly for incarnate species of beauty. Any which way.

Curiosity trembled with a tyranny of honor and lust. Every scheme incurred some element that defied reason.

Powerful bursts of the holy moly resistant. Waves of defiant wonder battling with a fire of emptiness. This emptiness is space to jump through. It is the meaning and affectation of life.

Soul becomes body cut loose, running with the wind, meaning bursting through confines of forced conformity — and not just for glory numbers, but slippery reckonings with brute gruesome hopelessness, burst like a coffin that only opens at night.

And its day that slips under the mat choking with terror.

Jill has a nose that swoons against the distance — and given any sudden room to roundelay in, shifts into rapidly sifting views, perceptions find clearance to reverberate and imbue, sudden exponentials turn electromagnetic with buzzing cruces — these spiritual quintessentials are enshrined in beauty of all kinds.

Including the femme fatal. Escaping banality and horror of everyday strife into elements of sacrifice charged with freedom, as a rapturous negative beauty.

Or to philander deferentially with morbid exuberance — searching the highest rafters for edges of destruction. To get the heart climbing.

01 Motionless Mobius Morbid Fluff

Love rages

a battering ram

and a canalizing

heart

as heat moulders perch

like a bird

wild in worship.

The virgins of hell ring

my wasted double

crossing

rile for a pile

oh. Ocean

cheap breathless heap

a wendingness

of morbid flora

lets loose that pin

a blanket white out

alive as a bee hive

Letters to Epididymus

Negative of the Contrary

Where Love is Endless

9.9.20

Scoops of Negative Plunder

Quivering, the vulnerable into syllabalizing — a shining vulture — feathers red purple yellow blue, high on holy prey? Wonder if Joyce ever compared himself to a vulture? On morning cliff where sits a red rock and the wind blows heavily.

We want to make pretty? Have chars come to life.

Instead, starts up on a theory of love — that is the beauty of evil. Evil is a fat word. Borderless, boundaryless, and even intermediary. Sacred refuge for the addititious — perverse, mischievous, incendiary.

Looking into time periods again, drat Spengler, those of early Christianity as to say angelic sorteriology and hamartiology, otherwise known as discovery of salvation and sin.

Or rather, what my flowers of luminous evil call: potency of love and evil. Where love is endless, elevates negative to positive. Ugly to Beauty. Timelessness to Infinity.

See pretty in others resolve. Where let love in.

But beauty is full of excuses, having escaped from prison of gently crushed banal conservative dismissal, and religious disdain. Behind which saw horror and decapitation. In dreams slaves raged and were raped — negative escape from emptiness of existence.

Love, as release from a Tyranny of Negation?

Wasn’t just clumsiness. But also being forced by emptiness around me into fighting stagnation.

Every heady book, devoured — was an opening into desecration of the stagnation, negative on a negative became a twist on what love iz, conspirational with the dead (more than not authors read, were dead). Reading books, a rage against machine, quietly in my bed.

9.13.20

Working thru rot divide or unmodify — quiet here as mouse house with faust. Today — peace and gud tidings — mine only true one absolute weather support the work to find its own destiny in la langue — was strange to be fat way — body wanted diff life — sylvie s on dreaming into being — so many every boxtop —the imago far as can go bangs on about — low as can hoe — curiosity hingry and terror and timid — blotchy buggy soggy tiered — then reach out seemingly umbillically to other worders birders — and bounders to absorb mirror cul and meth thud and exchange rats and ratios and rations fah who boo knew ❤️❤️ — those who permet me become be livd on art part cart liberal — theres a one track hack evil button in la langue — find alone is “very” disarming — so guess seek the other to make wayway thru — not wanting to disrupt as bends my curve to breaking points which blow mouse house down -/ but black hole mmm engine too -/ new story finding chloe — let it sneek off into abso lutes ?? And others arrive to arg the vousdo back then dress in a n weave patterns glut slut means tooo seeking a grace — finding beauty and disaster and chuckles the misxmaker somebody — all but “resistance boxacrackers” want “share tea with v.”

es — Mmmmmy lyf small — but the work is getting “tight” yah — not doing any of this to burst at feet but jess stand up even say “ullo” — perhaps eod if can get loggers at factory to flesh it out fully — pea haps then wriding itself cud out go the shrimpy — all can do iszzz kip hoing -/ litter ex ists in black box of pie heavens no nothing assume everything — motto my grotto — SafeStreetsUSA

9.12.20

Na knot ankcore — but flow t twas 2 stay a flo te — naught pulled all wayway under again ana again — by waves of the sw eat hell o of m add ness — peace enuff in heart to “see” as a general way of perceiving purr suing ex changing litter n fill — tho still get caught in patterns of mis tea rious reasoning — on hole humor serves thru process of “finding” the serious — in laden and loaf, and peaches in trees —

9.11.20

Cud not have gotten pie to piece of peace on this without leaning towrs of pizza — mindbidysoul roll in the “hole” — looking fig out maintain mid grnd ( instead of yaknow burning man grnd zrro) endless love online works perfecta emmy pammy saus gd2go vousdo ruespew hippped make out a motionless meadured and absorbing caze para wick — now in the fic ?? Make up own version what fic is — ?? Hmm now is whispy moany inelegant — starting back on fiction — raise under surface to a dimension of what hmmm

Just did a fa$h sketch from agent s bern approved — tooooday way heavy dev/y hi end drawing class prep sat at 1 -/ also about finding line – focus pocus — that round 1000 pie hi happy fingers number sum in can with fannand pans collecting nuggera — the knocks the pix and the fizzies — to the slippery edges of wipperwood — i know its frig it fright height bite night reading a la rob the bin hood — tooooo also do fiction — something go back for ? // please says the beez blet bluzz earotic nuts and way the doodle noodle hoody poodle canoodle and nuts for guts — peepoe ddeafylocks pox and frisson and say hello for real as a V — edgr of gorest always waves and yells yo join her at the milk bar fizz wizz and hup comes the resistance — loopp fuck rrrrttt /- hu go not but -/ jack the riphuh pulling petals off poppy — oh hate city oh are wars between screamers // who cross dada pts with marcel -/ hate pushes back hate isa great pocus focus -/ yet/just anutter moon flitter with death — and make way gor day — which due too heavy river syvvy heloise in church — betty lost ton of cup cakes in garbage of golden ruins — is a bird born wasteland happiness deformrd — still living faithfully on hump over at circuitous dump -/ collecting presh tin — hmm – to take from proncess to dimples on the dump in 666.

Notebooks

Phrase Hunting, Notes & Sketches, Translating French

Slavoj Žižek & Jela Krečič Modes of Abjection

Ugly, Creepy, Disgusting, and Other Modes of Abjection by Jela Krečič & Slavoj Žižek —

Ugly as an aesthetic category. Gradual abandonment Unity. Das negativschone, negatively beautiful —

Sublime and the ridiculous, how one rubs up against other —

Overwhelming ugly becomes monstrous, can no longer be sublated into sublime –

Definitions of monstrous – as a badge of ?

01 Colette Peignot, 1903 – 1938

Book of collected writings called Laure, written by Georges Bataille’s once paramour Colette Peignot. For a time they lived together. She got tuberculosis, died in his house at 35. Had, it is said, by that time destroyed much of anything else she may have wrote, though some…

02 Laure: History of a Girl, by Colette Peignot

Eyes pierce the night. Young girl in long white chemise, half asleep, mumbling. In a corner, in light and shadows, she kneels quavering before crucifix and Virgin. Pious images cover all the walls, she – my noctabulant – lends all readiness in her knees then off…

Albert Camus Myth of Sisyphus

Fundamental question of philosophy, to live or not. What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying — To run the risk, a passion, allegiance, faith, zeal — to point of death becomes equiv to intensification: a passion of living. Willingness…

Auguste Brachet

Got off of archive.org. Considered historically important French language book by Etymologtist Auguste Brachet. Its pretty darn good – Cours complet d’histoire de la langue française conforme au programme du Conseil supérieur de l’instruction publique en date du 15 juillet 1880.

Beckett with Lacan by Slavoj Zizek

Slavoj Zizek talking up Beckett & Lacan: “If there ever was a kenotic writer, the writer of the utter self-emptying of subjectivity, of its reduction to a minimal difference, it is Beckett. We touch the Lacanian Real when we subtract from a symbolic field all the…

Bedside Reading

Night Table. Every Night. In the French.

Brief History of Infinity

PAULO ZELLINI Compares line where divine meets the sublime and language of the counting heads – as coextensive with history of math, which it is. Book very fine for philosophy majors.

Clarice Lispector

Agua Viva. Ex-lover to whom she must explain. And para after para gushes out after thresholds where language goes beyond the simple or complex, beyond deviousness, and even beyond reflection or admission, to something ailing for a form. Seeps as paint does blood through the grave…

Comment C’est

SAM BECKETT, in his book Comment C’est, circles language La Boue (means mud in FR, nostalgia de la boue). He flushes and loops through an exquisite meandering mud of reason & dreams like a cryptographic lattice. My language dreams in La Boue too. Only now to open…

Discussing Density

Camus mentions density Ran across in Camus a discussion that includes observations on density, on the notion of thoughts or a visual modality being dense. Density is a big thing for me. Some of us experience life as density, as befit with density. Camus assigns discovering…

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Literature but Were Afraid to Ask Zizek

Russell Sbriglia’s introduction to Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Literature but Were Afraid to Ask Žižek offers a great explanation of Zizek’s work meanwhile discussing Lacan’s boss threesie: Symbolic, Real, Imaginary. I found it very elucidating! Russell’s chapter, Symptoms of Idealogy Critique offers up a voracious…

German Grammar

After reading just three chapters, could read titles for Philosophy Books/Articles and tell apart parts of sentences and match up meaning to words.

Happy (en)Trails with Fodder Shakespeare

Phrase hunting with The William. A collection of spirit walking phrases from the Shakespeare Lexicon. A Complete Dictionary of All the English Words, Phrases and Constructions in the Works of the Poet, Vol 1 & 2. Alexander Schmidt, LL. D. (1902). Revised and enlarged by Georage…

Hidden Prohibitions & the Pleasure Principle

Josefina Ayerza with Slavoj Zizek from Flash Art on Lacon.com “The entire satisfaction, the jouissance is that you do not know and will never know who the other is… the entire satisfaction is in this purely symbolic exchange…” “In quantum physics for example you have the idea of possibility….

In Praise of Folly

From Wikipedia. Essay written in Latin in 1509 by Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam and first printed in June 1511. Inspired by previous works of the Italian humanist Faustino Perisauli De Triumpho Stultitiae, it is a satirical attack on superstitions and other traditions of European society as well as on the Western Church. Erasmus revised and extended his work, which…

Index for Nick Cave’s The Red Hand Files

theredhandfiles.com Latest on Top 117 Do you enjoy magic? Card tricks, stage illusions, that kind of thing. 116 Nina Simone once said: Freedom means having no fear. Sometimes on stage, she added, she would reach that kind of state. How do you free yourself from fear?…

Issues in Meta-Fiction and Free Writing

9.23.20 Raisin Furry I pay for ghost of the dead — feels like — with everything. My life is their life. It fathoms itself a sickness. Beauty nestles in it with hunger and death. It is a sickness. My battle with Burroughs on birth control. Burroughs…

L’Experience Interieure

Read almost everything by GEORGES BATAILLE on beauty, sex & death. He wrote novels & philosophy. This is his master work. Holding French against English I have read it at least three times. I adore it. Sacred essentials of horror & beauty taken out to edges…

Les Fleurs Pensée sur l’Amour

Two books had super heavy influence on me very early on. Ezra Pounds translation of Remy du Gormant’s The Natural Philosophy of Love. A later 1800’s serious tract about sexual instincts in animals. And translated with marked succinctness and intensity by the great Ezra. Loved it….

Lulu in Hollywood

I really liked Lulu In Hollywood by Louise Brooks. Working in Hollywood, and on dancing stages, travelled with Ziegfeld. Its an honest book. Bitter, its been called — but I dont see it that way entirely. Its another hard knocks western song out of Kansas and…

My I Ching

Falling asleep with Finnegans Wake. Gave me hallucinations still cherish. Think about this book a lot. Like a fish, the tide and blotting paper. Aquatic with words, to see what undercurrent pings and plots like a sinking rock. I love this book. Where poetry upends with…

Politics of Scene

By Paul Kottman, Sanford University Press. The brilliance and originality of this book consists specifically in its radical recasting of the metaphorical, figural uses of “theater” and “drama.” —Robert Hanke Paul is editing a new book series at Stanford University Press, Square One: First Order Questions…

Samuel Beckett Reads Watt

Watt will not abate one jot but of what of the coming to of the being at of the going from Knott’s habitat of the long way of the short stay of the going back home the way he had come of the empty heartof the…

Samuel Beckett’s Library

By Dirk Van Hulle and Mark Nixon, Cambridge University Press. Fully examines Beckett’s reading practice, and the way he used his reading in his writing. “… impressive, rigorous, coherent, and innovative.” —Yves Laberge, The European Legacy Samuel Beckett’s actual library “is still where it was at…

Slavoj Žižek & Jela Krečič Modes of Abjection

Ugly, Creepy, Disgusting, and Other Modes of Abjection by Jela Krečič & Slavoj Žižek — Ugly as an aesthetic category. Gradual abandonment Unity. Das negativschone, negatively beautiful — Sublime and the ridiculous, how one rubs up against other — Overwhelming ugly becomes monstrous, can no longer…

Slavoj Žižek Ticklish Subject

The Ticklish SubjectThe Absent Centre of Political Ontology by Slavoj Žižek Intro: A Spectre is Haunting Heideggerian proponent of the thought of Being who stresses the need to ‘traverse’ the horizon of modern subjectivity culminating in current ravaging nihilism. Inherent excess, inherent logic philosophers of subjectivity articulate…

The Art of Dressing Curves

The Art of Dressing Curves is a gorgeous book that only SUSAN MOSES could write. Acclaimed stylist for the curvy side of life. No other book quite like it. Includes diagrammatic of 9 collars that she had me draw. I admire Susan greatly! Her faith helps…

The Crying of Lot 49

“I came,” she said, “hoping you could talk me out of a fantasy.” “Cherish it,” cried Hilarius, fiercely. “What else do any 0f you have? Hold it tightly by its little tentacle, don’t let the Freudians coax it away or the pharmacists poison it out of…

The Limits of Fabrication

The Limits of Fabrication: Materials Science, Materialist Poetics (Idiom: Inventing Writing Theory) by Nathan Brown, book about materials science and Charlie Olson’s (I, Maximus of Gloucester, to You) poetry. Form of language courted by Heidegger — over what is life and what is rock. Reminds me…

The Sick Bag Song

The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave is especially essential to my collection. Helps me wake up beyond revelations of ornery terrors: to behold with honesty humor and relish the beauty in my obsessions – Especially those that otherwise would tear the soul apart.

Vol. 1 Letters of Sylvia Plath 1940-56

Why We Gesture

Development of communication & gesture by pre-eminent expert in field, Prof. Emeritus DAVID MCNEILL. Author of 11 books on language, gesture, speech and so on. Several of which are considered classics. (If I get 1 pub’d in my life time will be a frckng miracle.) Very…

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