I guess there is only so far one can get to in Marm — with respect to actionable material thinking.

But I love the writing. The playing with sentence structure, has been a blast, as well as something Wittgenstein gets into about language rubbing up against itself, he called Uncertainty in an article he wrote of the same name. But I think of it more along Shakespearean lines, of addressing language as fluid, as composable on the spot. 

I have started calling post Easter Parade — my little Bloody Sunday, as I fell under — for awhile. Touched both paranoia and the extravagant. Making more of acquaintance than exists. Nothing of any certainty exists in RueAnda, well — it does. But its all curiosity, audaciousness, sympathetic vibration, indulgence, syllabism, something attuning to logomancy, and certainly a bit of pocket battleship.

I know that my imaginal and its associatives allow for overdetermination, lets itself get in there. But for me, its also very much been about putting reigns on the negs, about regaining access to present tense in writing, and about being at peace with a certain tragic dismay that occurred for me in the past — when madness showed up with multiple personalities and basically tore me apart.

Getting that handled and being in a good place now, generally speaking, is what I am concentrating on. Even if I sometimes get carried away by it — as to say, asserting marm treasure as if to identify with anything real, at all. For, even when something is being sincerely debated — thinking it anything more than inquisitive appears viewed by others as in essence trivial.

But then again, I love golden showers, for the access it has given me to the undead, to shapeshifters and their mutagens, and, as a result, to my being basically at peace over the past in general — without dread, or wounded displacency.

Recently it did cause some bad behavior. Try as I might to remain level. Sudden thoughts being : my god he wants to blow me out of the water! Which indeed happened, ha! But of course — there must be a bit of larceny, in any who engage in frames — as elusive proxy.

Now tho, however may totter, the nice thing is, I quickly return to form, and take nothing from it “personally.”

Except of course what I track through here.

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